Ajwilliams11 wrote:I don't think I have a new story but found out a few weeks ago I am a 4/4 and I have been obsessively thinking about it ever since. Day and night. I sort of stumbled in to the results without really considering the impact the information would have!
I actually studied this not that long ago with a professor who has devoted her life to studying trauma. What most people don't realize is that lots of things involving health and medicine and feeling acutely that your life is in danger cause one or more predictable reactions:
The person can't stop thinking about the news and picturing worst case scenarios.
The person worries that how she/he feels is "not normal" and "will never get better".
The person feels an overwhelming sense of dread, and panic and inability to self-calm.
Sleep is disrupted and often the person feels like he/she has tunnel vision and is not able to follow conversations and hear advice or information from others.
The person may feel guilty that she/he somehow caused this or is making it worse or feel others should feel guilty for contributing to this problem.
This happens to people whose newborns are premature, to parents whose kids are in a car accident, to people who get a diagnosis of an unexpected health crisis. All of these reactions are perfectly normal and they are acute, meaning they get better gradually and eventually go away for almost all people. So many people will post messages to tell you that they, like you, hated this news and worried, but that it got better. They're not kidding, and you can tell yourself that you are like them and it will get better for you too.
Second important news: Nothing that you forget, and no lapse in your attention right now, at the age of 33, is due to ApoE 4/4. Zilch! It's due to what's happening in your amygdala right now, which is basically running an air raid siren of alarm in your brain, which is drowning out all the normal brain capacity to have sustained attention and focus, to remember what you are doing and going to do and why. I spent years working with kids (and some adults) with minor and not so minor brain injuries, and more than a few told me "I was in a fog for months and didn't even realize it." You haven't had a brain injury, but you've had an emotional shock and your brain is just saying "OK, I'm going on vacation from hard thinking for a while."
Hugs from your virtual mom or aunt, or much older, still healthy friend!
Cas wrote:Hi AJ,
Thank you so much for your post,as the others have said above what you are experiencing is normal, especially as there are a lot of things going on for you at the minute already, without this news. Take your time processing it all and try to be kind to yourself and exercise a lot of self care - you deserve it right now.
It’s great that you have been reading the primer too as there is so much supportive guidance within that. Do you have a copy of Dr Breseden’s book? That would also be a great resource for you.
The network on this site is fantastic and there are so many people on here with great stories that will help to restore hope for you. One of the sayings I love is that our genes just load the gun, it’s our environment and lifestyle that pull the trigger (hopefully someone on here can tell me who that quote is from as I’m not sure where it originates!) so basically that puts the control back to us and shows we are not at the mercy of our genes nothing is set in stone for us! And as NF52 has commented there are health coaches on here too like myself who can support you in making the changes as and when you feel ready to.
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