(((G))) I was going to email to check on you...then saw this. I so get you. You have so many losses piling up on top of your new health concerns. Remember your intrinsic value outside of all this crap.
Knowing 4/4 status is most definitely a loss that must be grieved. It is a loss of innocence; a knowledge of frailty that we carry with us always. Oh, how I'd love to shake it for just a day. I know you'll get that. When you lose important people in your life on top of that... Too much.
You know I'm also dealing with my pituitary tumor. And, to make you feel better...the wheels of medical science are turning just as slowly in the country with "the best healthcare on earth." I see an endo on Nov 21 (almost 2 months since my last appt!) and am still waiting for my next MRI- turned town by my insurance co. Grrrrrrr. I am also getting freaked out by this... and the wait is compounding everything. I've decided, my goal, at this point, is to have his and her surgery with you. What a blast we'd have recovering
Chin up, my pituitarily challenged friend. You are perfect and whole; complete. I am blessed to know you. The Wiki will wait.