4/4 female mid40s

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Torimintz
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4/4 female mid40s

Postby Torimintz » Wed Jan 09, 2019 5:41 am

My story:

My mother and father are both from large families. Most on my dad's side died in late 60s to late 70s with no signs of any significant dementia issues. Dad doesn't have the ape 4/4 . BUT
on my Mom's side, a few of the older people had some slight issues, but mostly they lived into the 80s with so serious signs of dementia.
My mother may have had some "mini-strokes" as well, but she was totally great until early 70s, and although it is possible that she was declining in late 60s, no one could tell.
The odd thing is that, she lost "patches" of memories, and it wasn't the stereotypical "who is the new neighbor, where are my keys? What was I thinking about doing?" She actually forgot whole patches. EVEN WEIRDER... she wasn't horrifed or scared when she didn't know things that had happened in the past that we all reminded her of and re told her of.
(Example... the time an aunt had an accident, or the time that a cousin went to Japan and became ill, or the family friend who had a daughter die of cancer) . Random, but significant events like this were... POOF... LOST
Could this be from Alzheimer's ... she did test 4/4 and I am also 4/4
Maybe my mother also had issues of forgetting things that were psychologically disturbing. She was the type that didn't like to have stress or worry and wanted everything to be ROSY, so maybe the Alzheimer's "allowed" her brain to more easily forget??

She was mainly having issues in the mid 70s when she was outside of the home, visiting family for example, or at a party. She would also be a bit crabby and shy... which is TOTALLY opposite of her personality. She also would engage in more idle gossip... weird for her.

Yes, she did the typical repeating of herself, misplacing items, and forgetting daily things... but the odd part is that her personality changed and she pulled away from people, YET wasn't depressed EVER . How is that even possible...??? My mother has never been sad about it or cried. I think that is psychologically unhealthy for her. I spoke to her about my 4/4 as well and she wasn't sad for me, so I am wondering if the part of her brain that would be sad or worried about a serious issue, or embarrassed "died off earlier"... because it is odd that she didn't react normally to the news of her own diagnosis or mine. She and I were BEST FRIENDS, yet she pulled away as the past few years have passed by. WHY did this also happen??? Because my father did the worst thing for a person with Alzheimer's ... control and isolation. He told me to stop coming over and picked fights with me and it got NASTY. I would cry and cry and he wouldn't relent. He DID NOT allow me to to be "in the know".
She did not do the brain/cognitive work, or take supplements... SO SAD.
My parents are wealthy too... so money isn't the issue.
When my mom stopped her social life stopped with the Internet, and quit reading and watching tv, my dad was thrilled actually. It was only when she burned food while cooking or served him rotten food from the refrigerator, and stopped paying the bills that he FREAKED. He always wanted 100% control and now he has it.
I know I am rambling... sorry... I am just wondering mainly if her Alzheimer's is worse because of psychological reasons... 55 years of marriage to a controlling husband , being a 190s housewife, or if she had mini-strokes,,, or what?
She did have IBS, liked sweets, and had a sinus issue chronically... but other that being 25 pounds overweight her whole life, she did walk everyday, yoga, eat healthier than most, had hobbies, was fun, positive, read, cooked, sewed, was full of life...
You would be surprised to see that she is suffering from this as she looks SUPER healthy.
I again apologize for rambling, but I have nobody to talk to about this. My siblings are either in denial and secretive (I suspect they too have 4/4, and there are other non-blood related relatives who have similar issues and that scares my siblings as well.
I am not in denial and am actively improving my life.
I try not to be angry with my dad. I have already lost my mom I feel. She isn't sad that she doesn't see me... she doesn't care at all, or lacks the ability to care (we used to laugh and talk on the phone at least 1 hour a day and visited each other all the time and shared all of our secrets up until 4 years ago).
I am still in shock that I "lost" my mother. .. that my dad is okay with this... that my siblings don't seem to care... and I DO NOT want this EVERY happening to me!
Thank you for taking the time to read all of this. :)
I appreciate the support

mike
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Re: 4/4 female mid40s

Postby mike » Wed Jan 09, 2019 4:17 pm

Torimintz wrote:My story:

It is hard when the people you know change in front of you. My dad is in the final stages AD. He started going down hill about 5 years ago, right after my mom died. The first to go were the unhappy memories. Mostly he was okay, laughing off stuff he didn't remember. My mom's mom lived to over 100, but didn't know anyone for the last 10 years. I only saw her once during this time, but she seemed quite content. I'm 4/4, but it did not come as a shock because of my family history. I'm hoping for a different end.
Sonoma Mike
4/4

Anna
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Re: 4/4 female mid40s

Postby Anna » Wed Jan 09, 2019 5:57 pm

Torimintz, your situation sounds beyond difficult on many levels. I am so sorry! I am at a loss for meaningful suggestions.

And your mom's situation is one of my biggest fears as a 4/4. I often wonder what I can do now to prevent this sort of isolation and lack of brain-health measures if I become unable to manage these things for myself someday.

My heart goes out to you and your mom.
~Anna
4/4 but so much more

katydid 3/4
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Re: 4/4 female mid40s

Postby katydid 3/4 » Fri Jan 11, 2019 12:58 pm

Torimintz-
I feel your pain and am sorry for you. My own mom at 88 seems healthy and in fact has shown improvement in ways due to my dogged support with the part of the B. Protocol and other interventions I continue to provide ( at no small cost to my own health and relationships).
Still, I know the feeling when your mom loses her capacity for empathy. It feels brutal as a daughter who depended on her for emotional support all my life.
I know it is so hard but I suggest you keep trying to be her daughter and not fall into the role of nurse. Sounds like your dad is so controlling that may be all you can do. The good part of that is that you can take her on outings and spend time talking over the old times she can remember and sometimes they will surprise you with a poignant memory or two that you had forgotten. Whereas when you are the nurse and caretaker 24/7 you can end up so frustrated by the minute to minute demands of keeping them warm and dry and fed that you can loose out non any available joy.

Magda
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Re: 4/4 female mid40s

Postby Magda » Fri Jan 11, 2019 5:43 pm

katydid 3/4 wrote:Torimintz-
I feel your pain and am sorry for you. My own mom at 88 seems healthy and in fact has shown improvement in ways due to my dogged support with the part of the B. Protocol and other interventions I continue to provide ( at no small cost to my own health and relationships).
Still, I know the feeling when your mom loses her capacity for empathy. It feels brutal as a daughter who depended on her for emotional support all my life.
I know it is so hard but I suggest you keep trying to be her daughter and not fall into the role of nurse. Sounds like your dad is so controlling that may be all you can do. The good part of that is that you can take her on outings and spend time talking over the old times she can remember and sometimes they will surprise you with a poignant memory or two that you had forgotten. Whereas when you are the nurse and caretaker 24/7 you can end up so frustrated by the minute to minute demands of keeping them warm and dry and fed that you can loose out non any available joy.


Katydid 3/4
Welcome to the forum! Thank you for your voice and supportive message to Torimintz.
I read your posts, and I understand you are very familiar with Dr. Bredese’s protocol.
On our site, I would like to send you to the PRIMER written and updated on regular basis by our members- Dr. Stavia.
It is filled with valuable information and maybe you will find there new tips, strategies, inspirations applicable to your unique family’s situation.
viewtopic.php?f=33&t=1418
The entire forum is a wonderful wealth of information. To learn how to get as much as possible out of the apoe4.info please go here:
https://www.apoe4.info/wiki/%22How-To%2 ... fo_website

The forum is a true community! We are here to helps, support and encourage one another. If at any point of your and your mom’s journey to better brain health, you get stuck and need help with anything, please do not hesitate to post.

My best,
Magda
Functional Medicine Certified Health Coach
IFM/Bredesen Trained, Reversing Cognitive Decline

WifeOfJoel
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Re: 4/4 female mid40s

Postby WifeOfJoel » Sat Jan 12, 2019 4:22 pm

That sounds terrible!

It sounds like you have to heal the relationship with your father to be able to spend time with your mother, and given what you said already, that will probably be tough. Are there any things that your dad responds positively to? I wonder if he has signs of dementia himself, and perhaps this increase in controlling behavior is his way of trying to cope with it (if you are 4/4 and he is your biological father, he has at least one copy of ApoE4).

*hugs*
Jennifer

physician scientist
Me: APOε3/3, MTHFR (C677T) homozygote
Partner: APOε4/4
Mother: APOε3/4


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