My aunt just died of Alzheimer’s

[floramaria]

Sorry to hear of your Aunt’s passing. She sounds like a lovely person. Thank you for posting the very sweet story of the 50th anniversary. So tender.
And I also understand, as so many of us here do, your combined feelings of sadness at her passing and also relief that she is free of ravaged brain and body. I felt that when my mom died. Though I miss her, I’d not wish her back in the sorry condition of her final years.
Sending a hug across the miles. Take care.
Floramaria

[TheBrain]

Thank you, RU and floramaria. I appreciate your thoughts and hugs. I’m sorry you and so many others here have firsthand experience of losing a loved one due to Alzheimer’s. Yes, what we do here is precious.

[circular]

A good cry yesterday helped me sleep better last night.

(((TheBrain!))) Crying is such a divine elixir, freeing us of that tightness that forms in the chest when grief has built up a bit too much and starts weighing us down. One day at a time, and if you have time and think it will help, I find nature walks to be another very a healing tool in the grieving process.

[circular]

I can really relate to what you cousin said about regretting not putting her dad (Rosemary's husband) in a care facility sooner. It was such a tough call when we did that for my grandmother (who passed 1 year ago at almost 101), but in retrospect, we also should have done it sooner. My now 81 year old mother was her full time caregiver and it was TOO much.

+1

While it's important to recognize some of the good things that can happen while being a caregiver, I feel the role is often romanticized while caregivers are going doooooown.

Julie, I so hope your mom can level off in a comfortable place for a nice long while.

[TheBrain]

A good cry yesterday helped me sleep better last night.

(((TheBrain!))) Crying is such a divine elixir, freeing us of that tightness that forms in the chest when grief has built up a bit too much and starts weighing us down. One day at a time, and if you have time and think it will help, I find nature walks to be another very a healing tool in the grieving process.

Thanks, circular. Yes, crying is a divine elixir. I never thought of it that way, but you’re absolutely right. And I do think nature walks will help. I appreciate your suggestion.

[SusanJ]

While it's important to recognize some of the good things that can happen while being a caregiver, I feel the role is often romanticized while caregivers are going doooooown.

A fine line to walk indeed. Sometimes caregivers, with all their love and best intentions, need someone else to throw them the life preserver as reminder that they are going down.

[Rainy]

Dear Brain, I just now saw your post and want to add my heartfelt condolences on the loss of your wonderful, smart and beloved Aunt Rosemary. She clearly lived life on her own terms and fiercely loved her connection with you and the rest of her family. Having cared for both of my parents and helping my parents care for their own parents as well, my heart is with you. Now I am the so-called matriarch of my family (yikes, how did that happen, I am way too young for this???) and can look ahead with both optimism and realism, tinged with dark sadness at all that Alzheimer's takes from us. Thank you for sharing your sorrow and love for Rosemary. I am inspired to do more to stave off what has taken so many very close family members and frightens my children. Extra tight hugs and love to you, dear Brain, as you navigate this tough time.

[TheBrain]

Dear Brain, I just now saw your post and want to add my heartfelt condolences on the loss of your wonderful, smart and beloved Aunt Rosemary. She clearly lived life on her own terms and fiercely loved her connection with you and the rest of her family. Having cared for both of my parents and helping my parents care for their own parents as well, my heart is with you. Now I am the so-called matriarch of my family (yikes, how did that happen, I am way too young for this???) and can look ahead with both optimism and realism, tinged with dark sadness at all that Alzheimer's takes from us. Thank you for sharing your sorrow and love for Rosemary. I am inspired to do more to stave off what has taken so many very close family members and frightens my children. Extra tight hugs and love to you, dear Brain, as you navigate this tough time.

Rainy,

Thank you so much for your kind, heartfelt support. Yesterday, I got back from my aunt’s funeral. It was a somber occasion, but also wonderful to spend time with my sister and cousins who also attended. We discussed having a cousins’ reunion in the next year or two. Aunt Rosemary would be delighted if we could make that happen.

I’m sorry to hear about your own losses. Being the matriarch of the family is an important, dignified role. You’ll be leading the way to show others in your family how to stave off this dreadful disease, for those who choose to follow in your footsteps.

Hugs and love back,
TheBrain