Anxiety

[ktg000]

Hi all, I haven't been on for a long time. Hope everyone is well, I'm so grateful for all the support I had when I first got my results.
I've been having quite a rough time. My husband left out of the blue (to me) and I've been looking after my son, sorting out divorce etc. I felt like my world had ended but have had counselling and got everything sorted so feel ok now and have accepted things. Recently though I've been having these periods of feeling like I'm not really there, like detached from reality, and am unable to think straight. It sometimes happens when I'm driving and I think to myself I can't remember the next bit of the route/where I've come from. Sometimes I feel like I'm not sure if I'm dreaming!
I'm 37 at the moment and started worrying that it could be I'm losing my memory. I've been to my GP who says it's likely to be anxiety. I don't feel any more stressed than I was a year ago, but I guess these things can catch up with you. Has anyone else had similar symptoms due to stress/anxiety and then found themselves worrying about their genes?!
X

[Julie G]

{{{ktg000}}} I'm so sorry for all you're going through and so proud of you for seeking counseling during this stressful period. You're describing a condition known as depersonalization, that often accompanies tremendous stress. It's very unlikely to occur as a result of your E4 status. Are you familiar with a relaxation technique called [url=support.https://dopaminedialogue.wordpress.com/ ... edication/]square breathing?[/url] This simple breathing tool can re-set your physiology and help put control back in your hands. If this feeling persists, you may want to reconnect with your counselor for additional support.

I hope you're able to take care of your self during this period of great stress. Are you eating well and getting enough sleep? Any symptoms of hypoglycemia? I'm happy you've reconnected with us, ktg000. I'm sending good energy your way. I expect you've learned how strong and resilient you are as a result of this experience. Remember that when the going gets rough. XO

[SusanJ]

ktg, hugs and some extra healing energy your direction.

I'm guessing we all have a moment when the brain farts that we think, oh well, there goes the E4 thing. It's just part of being human...

[Stavia]

Ktg, how awful. Please accept a virtual hug from me {{{ktg}}}
Yes your symptoms are completely stress driven. Julie is correct. Its a way of your mind trying to cope by dissociating from the present reality. It's a sign of huge stress.
I hope you're still seeing a counsellor from time to time or at least have a good friend you can talk to.


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[buck3Maureen]

Hi Ktg,
Along with all of the support and advice above you might try a supplement called ashwaghanda. It may provide a small bit of ease to your anxiety. I buy it in bulk and put it in water twice a day - not great tasting but not horrible and I noticed that it made me calmer less anxious.
Maureen

[Starfish77]

Hello Ktg000,
I certainly identify with you. I'm more than twice your age and was divorced 56 years ago. Nothing that has happened since then has been as traumatic. In later years I was misdiagnosed with pancreatic cancer and told I had a year to live. I had breast cancer, sarcoidosis, a house fire and learned I was a 4/4. The divorce was by far the most difficult. That divorce paper was written proof I was not wanted. Just hearing that someone else was getting divorced made me depressed. I was 24 at the time of my divorce.

The positive outcome of having survived the divorce was that when the other difficult situations arose, I never felt any of them came anywhere close to the complete devistation of being divorced. In 1961 when I was divorced, I was an emotional mess. I never told a single person how I felt. That you could seek professional help and that you can ask our group for help is such a positive thing. You are going to get through this so much faster than I did. If you would like to PM me, I would be glad to hear from you.
Starfish

[circular]

((((((Ktg000))))))

[ktg000]

Thank you all so much, you're so nice to support me, you've made me cry! I'll definitely look at square breathing and ashwaghanda. Thank you starfish for your story, it's reassuring that if I can get through this I can get through anything. Thank you all for being so kind. I might even get back to my Alzheimer's prevention plan soon, it all fell by the wayside recently x

[circular]

ktg000, just in case for any reason ashwaghanda doesn't work for you, another option may be L-Theonine. It's a component of green tea. I had an exceedingly stressful July-Dec and used it the whole time after someone recommended it. I read that it reduces one's perception of stress. I think that may be about right in my experience, because my 'resting face' looked like h*ll (still not great), but I felt capable and much more stress resilient than usual. I think there's value to not perceiving the stress so acutely, even if it's there.

Naturally any additional measures to reduce the body's overall stress load, so there's no perception of stress to begin with, are beneficial. But I do think there are times we are simply going to be unable to live and be like there's nothing stressful going on when there is an ongoing and profound cause for stress (hopefully to change with time). That's when anything we can do to modify our perception of it can help. This can include non-supplement approaches too, like amplifying our awareness of the smaller things we do have control over. In fact mindfulness meditation might help with your depersonalization as a means to regain comfort with being in the moment and back in your body again in your 'new normal' life.

I personally haven't tolerated ashwashanda yet, but I react to a lot of things. You might even consider using both for synergy, while starting one at a time to watch how you react to each. One or both of these, by helping reduce the stress and perception of it, might help ease your mind into mindfulness meditation, and in due course you may not need them, having replaced them with freshened awareness. L-Theonine may increase concentration, so you may want to use mindfulness to be sure you're concentrating on productive directions forward, except when you've set aside a time and place to delve into the past for healing.

Yes, I think profound stress can catch up with us even when we think we're getting better. Our conscious minds can only handle so much at one time and seem to pay some of it forward. Sometimes it's in the form of waves of grief that come and go, and sometimes they continue to return even when we think we're 'done'. Our thinking we're 'done' can divert us from releasing the painful feelings still needing to come out. There was a study of tears that showed they are filled with stress hormones (sorry I don't have a link, saw it years ago). They seem to be one of our body's key ways to dump the excess stress chemicals. Lymph drainage therapy should also help rid the body of nasty chemicals from stresses one's mind and life are moving on from (not to mention other toxins).

Don't be a stranger

[circular]

An additional possibility you can consider is whether your recent loss has become a watershed for earlier injuries/losses that may never have been fully healed. I think this sort of watershed event can complicate recovery and extend and complicate the grief process, especially if we're not aware it's happening and are focusing only on recent events. I'm personally not one to obsess a lot about the past, but I did have to go through one of these watershed experiences in my 20s. While my conscious mind had detached and moved on from old 'stuff', apparently I was holding onto layers of these old experiences on physical and other levels I wasn't aware of. A new event brought on the watershed days of reckoning about the more distant past. I still sometimes try to deny it to myself when I read statements about how the body holds onto old hurts and wrongs and we have to get in there and find a way to release it all, even though I went through this, but honestly speaking that has been my experience. YMMV