ApoE4.Info

I resonate with Annie in this article, Wanting to die at 'five to midnight' - before dementia takes over. I think I'd like to have this same option if it ever came to this, but how to determine when is the right time?

Watching my dad waste away, I know he would have wanted this option. I know that I would. I would rather not have to do it too soon though. None of this 5 to midnight bit. We should be able to make a living will that defines at what point it is time to go. Like in the article - "when I no longer recognize my grandkids" or what have you.

Point ...

Sandy Bem's story: The Last Day of Her Life

... and counterpoint:

What our own Nords learned from his father.

Over the past few years my own father's journey has moved me from Bem to Nords. His younger self would be appalled at the diminishment and indignity, but his current self lives humbly in the moment and enjoys each day.

Having gotten a lot of satisfaction from helping to care for my father in his last demented years I am resigned to let the play end itself for me. When my brother took him to the nursing home he said "I don't know what these good nuns can do for me here." Well the good nun in about 15 months gave my brother a call re my fathers pneumonia. Between the two they decided not to treat it and allow him to stay in the home and let nature take its course. I had time to make it there and say my good byes. With all the nursing home rules now I wonder it the good nun and my brother would be allowed this latitude.

rrmolo wrote:Having gotten a lot of satisfaction from helping to care for my father in his last demented years I am resigned to let the play end itself for me. When my brother took him to the nursing home he said "I don't know what these good nuns can do for me here." Well the good nun in about 15 months gave my brother a call re my fathers pneumonia. Between the two they decided not to treat it and allow him to stay in the home and let nature take its course. I had time to make it there and say my good byes. With all the nursing home rules now I wonder it the good nun and my brother would be allowed this latitude.

I had my mother sign a Living Will while she was still "of sound mind" which was by the skin of my teeth and probably done on the last day the lawyer could legally allow it. We also had a Do Not Resuscitate order and I had Durable Power of Attorney (I could make medical decisions) that I kept of copy of in my purse. 20 years ago, I had to race in to the hospital after she was transported for a fall to run interference and decide if she really needed to be poked and hooked up to machines or if a kiss on her boo boo would suffice. Over the course of 10 years, I was gratified to find that attitudes had started to change and quality of life was the concern rather than just saving a life. If we could improve her quality of life, by all means we took measures. When she developed aspiration pneumonia and it was clear that this was probably going to be "it", the Palliative Care & Hospice Teams showed so much love and respect to her as she took her time to pass over (in her care facility) that I am eternally grateful for them. I'm not sure how rules have changed either but for me, getting the legal paperwork done in the early stages allowed for a more peaceful transition. I'd like to have the option of euthanasia but I'm not sure that I could "pull the trigger".

interesting discussion and one that I'm sure we all have very individual thoughts about. Being able to leave this existence on my own terms is far more comforting than the idea of spending years in a vegetative state not knowing the faces of my 4 beautiful children, my dear husband, my grandchildren or my other loved ones any longer. I have watched Phyllis Shacter's TED talk on her husband's choice to end his life by VSED (Voluntary stopping eating and drinking) as his AD progressed to near midnight and I am resolute that I will not end up being spoon fed and not remembering who I am. Knowing I have options, should my 4/4 status express itself in the future, has given me a peace of mind that was absent in the initial months after finding out about it.

I'm prepared to handle this matter myself, since in this county we are nowhere as enlightened as the Dutch. I will have to do it somewhat preemptively because it requires some executive skill, but I've thought about this a lot, I've had a good long life, why spoil it with a miserable death.

All the best Josiah with your decision. In Canada, we have a "dutch light" option for euthanasia. Not the best but a little better than what our American cousins have. All human beings of sound mind (prior) - to horrible disease make their wishes known and carried out by the medical community.

My husband and I have discussed moving into a "palliative care" mode if I reach a certain nebulously defined cognitive decline stage. Keeping me comfortable without any life extending interventions. Stop all meds/supplements, no dietary restrictions, no antibiotics for pneumonia, no heroic medical interventions etc. He can accept this approach, but does not support euthanasia. (He may change his mind if the day comes that I am more of a handful than the present! ) The big dilemma is how to clearly define the cut off point. Have any of you come up with a good description for family members / medical surrogates to follow?

As a single person living alone, a diagnosis of dementia would be a total disaster for me. I dread having to go into residential care, mainly because the kind of treatment patients receive leaves a lot to be desired. Also, I don`t want to descend into the so called second childhood that it dementia. I didn`t enjoy the first one, so Iv`e no wish to go back for second helpings. I`d choose to be euthenised as soon as I was diagnosed.