Accomplished Patient Opts for Suicide in the Face of AD

[circular]

So sad.

http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/theith ... =171093461

[Julie G]

We can relate like few others. R.I.P. Sandra Bem.

[bentkat]

Truly sad, but I certainly understand and appreciate her choice. Don't know if I would be brave enough to give in.

[RedNailz]

Such a loss. I can't imagine how she determined the right time to go. If she waited too long, the ability to make the choice would be lost. I hope she felt a sense of peace, not desperation, when she made that final decision.

[Doctor Lost]

a sad end, but after seeing my mother go, I understand why she did it.

[Gilgamesh]

Yes, understandable, but incredibly sad.

Reminds me of the book Still Alice.

[circular]

I've been thinking about this. The circumstances are very sad, but maybe not as sad as going through the disease and everyone watching. What strikes me is the word peacefully. It sounds like a great alternative as long as there are still no treatments. Most people hope to somehow die peacefully. I think I am really going to explore this and contemplate a peaceful exit strategy in case I need it for any reason. I think if I've been preparing, and know it will be peaceful, it wouldn't be so hard. Would just need to be mostly grateful for all the good things and people in my life and desire to spare loved ones the long agony. By comparison what could be better? Hopefully they'll get a treatment and I won't need the plan, but I think the plan could give me a lot of peace of mind during the watchful waiting years. I might need it if I run out of money with nowhere to turn some day anyway.

[KatieS]

Yes, Gilgamesh, but Still Alice waited too long, so she could not cognitively enact her demise plan. This woman was only four years after dx. Since I don't have children, I might consider this option, since the lingering as a vegetable would be so feared, particularly if my husband was still alive. I know there are states that allow euthanasia, but how would one navigate this once you have AD.

[circular]

Me too no kids, and if I had them I don't think I would want to burden them. I was thinking about how one would know the time is right, ie are there two more years with decent quality of life? On the other hand if I don't do it "now" I might unknowingly slip into not being able to? I think there is a transition where you kind of come and go. Do you need to do it before that, or is that the time to? Can you give a trusted person the responsibility as an "outside" party to "tell you when" based on what is happening? Then you might be less likely to give up some livable years?

[RedNailz]

Circular, I think your idea of having a trusted person to help decide "when" is key. Finding the right person would be critical, however, as he/she could feel responsible for the suicide. From the tone of Sandra Bem's obituary, I sense that she had people around her who understood.

I don't have children, either. It is just my husband and me. We are both planners, so we will document a plan for my future if I get AD (he's a 3/3, so we're counting on him not getting it). He is definitely my "trusted person" in all things, but if he goes first, we want the nieces and nephews to know my wishes.




When I started to write this post, I got sidetracked with the following paragraph. I almost deleted it but then left it because it is something I have mulled over for the last 4 years and finally put into words.

Long before my mother was diagnosed with AD (but after my grandmother was), she speculated that many accidental deaths of dementia sufferers were actually suicide. She also followed Dr. Kevorkian's work and we had many discussions about physician assisted suicide and euthanasia. It was all speculative but I am certain she considered her own options, should she ever get AD. Ultimately, I think my mom prioritized her faith and concern for others before her own well-being. First, could she claim to have faith in God's plan for her and then commit suicide? (That was one "what if" we never did resolve: Could God's plan ever be suicide?) Second, what effect would her death have on her family? She knew I would understand, and my brother likely would, but my sister and my father would be absolutely devastated. She would also consider the impact on everyone from her grandchildren to, say, the paramedics called to the scene of her death.