Simple changes support thread

[Orangeblossom]

Floramaria, that reminds me of a book I have been reading which was interviews with the Dali Lama about his views on Buddhism and how it can help us from a mental health perspective. A lot of that was saying similar, about how we have to practice these positive thoughts as we do tend to focus on the negatives but we can over time re-train our brains. I like the lovingkindness meditation (compassion) and thinking of three things to be grateful for at the end of each day before sleep. These are simple free things to do which may well be helpful for us in particular, there are studies showing positive thinkers are less likely to develop dementia, whereas more rigid, neurotic people were more so. I think it may also help as we get older and for life changes too. For example to cope with things. I was speaking to my dad last night, he is in his mid 70s. Although he has split up with my mum and lives in sheltered housing, alone, he has been swimming this week in a river and has joined an art group in his village. He seems quite positive / resilient. So I can see how it is possible to look for the simple good things in life...as we age.

This is in total contrast to my mum, who is neurotic and controlling, and my granny who became 'senile' in her 70s - so I am determined not to follow that path. Something I have found helpful is CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) and can identify so many of the negative thinking patterns within my maternal line, the black/white thinking, the 'shoulds' etc so pick up on this in my own thoughts now! - and change them. I good book on this is here and there are loads of resources online. Sadly, my mother and granny would never seek help but it is not too late for me.

[Epsilon?]

I think the simple measures like healthy food exercise and positivity will pay off the most in the long run.

[Orangeblossom]

I think the simple measures like healthy food exercise and positivity will pay off the most in the long run.

Yes, I hope so. It is easy to get stressed over certain details of one aspect, (especially diet) and it's important as Stavia says to 'look at all the things'. I keep trying to remember this. Rangoon Chatterjee has this book which is really simple and called Four Pillars- sleep, exercise, relaxation and diet, which i like when things get too stressy. Just for general health not AD.

[Orangeblossom]

Another simple change- I have started to listen to music in the mornings instead of the news.

[CarrieS]

My favorite small change is one I learned from Rick Hanson. It is called “Taking in the Good” and grounded in neuroplasticity, and how we can use small moments of focused attention to increase our happiness and resilience. One of his ideas is that we miss the opportunities that we have everyday to Influence our brains towards more positivity. We let the good experiences go by without much notice as we focus on problems. For our positive experiences having a lasting influence on our brain structure, we need to give them some time and really take them in.
It is very simple: When it happens, notice you are having a good experience. Pay attention to it. This can be anything from noticing you’re enjoying seeing something beautiful, tasting or smelling something delicious, or the feeling of sun or a light breeze on the skin, or hearing a child laugh, or a song you love...anything that gives you a moment of feeling good. (for example, as I type this, I notice my husband is doing our breakfast dishes, and even wiping the top of the stove! I take the time to appreciate that and to feel supported in keeping up with the housework.) Next is to stay with that good feeling and help it expand by giving it attention and then let it sink into your body, permeating your cells with that glow.
What I love about this practice is that it can be done on the fly, 30 seconds here, a minute there. and with any positive experience.
It has really improved my overall outlook over time to take in these little blips of what is good.

I love this Floramaria!
3 years ago my New Year's Resolution was to practice Gratitude daily. I tried writing in a Journal but found that method just doesn't work for me so I tried verbalizing those moments that I was thankful for or brought me joy. A friend of mine had said "thank you parking goddess" when we easily found the perfect parking spot in Seattle when going to a musical. At that time, I remember thinking "how weird was that!". That was exactly my first verbalization and I haven't looked back. I find myself saying "thank you for _____" whatever has made me stop and notice (like mentioned above) and have found that it really has changed my outlook and flow of my life.

[floramaria]

........how we have to practice these positive thoughts as we do tend to focus on the negatives but we can over time re-train our brains..

Exactly, OrangeBlossom! Thanks for sharing the resource. Fortunately, a lot of people are overlapping with the news that we can reshape our outlook on a neuronal level. Rick Hanson calls the tendency to focus on the negative our ¨negativity bias¨and talks about how that had survival value but is not so good fo cultivating happy lives. Now we know that our brains continue to change and that ¨neurons that fire together wire together” ; we can retrain our minds to focus more on the positive. Doing that has beneficial effects for health as well as happiness. And it it not too late for any of us as long as we are alive.
My Dad is a lot like yours. (And like you, I am striving to become more like him, and less like my mom in my approach to life) He minimizes problems and truly does look on the bright side. At 98, he is social and open and genuinely happy to be alive and finding new sources of enjoyment in his life. He has really taken to karaoke lately.
On the positivity front, Barbara Fredrickson is another great resource. I heard a a great interview where she said that when she wanted to do her Ph.D work on happiness, she had tremendous difficulty convincing people that it was a valid area of study. Her book Positivity also talks about how many more positive experiences we need to counterbalance one negative, 3:1 or even 5:1.
Great practice starting your day listening to music rather than taking in the news. I need more “intermittent fasting” in the area of news intake.

[floramaria]

I find myself saying "thank you for _____" whatever has made me stop and notice (like mentioned above) and have found that it really has changed my outlook and flow of my life.

Thank’s for sharing this simple practice, CarrieS. I’ve also tried writing a Gratitude Journal, which I know is a powerful, but didn’t stick with it. With your example, I’ll add speaking my Gratitude to my simple changes tool bag.