Spouse with early stage ALZ resists Bredesen diet what do I do?

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ellisto
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Spouse with early stage ALZ resists Bredesen diet what do I do?

Post by ellisto »

My brother has early stage ALZ, I gave his wife the Bredesen book and she flatly refuses to help institute the diet. In fact she shovels sugar and white flour down him. What if anything can I do?

Any and all suggestions are welcome. I also have a friend whose wife has ALZ and she refuses to change her diet, any suggestions on that are welcome too.

Thanks
circular
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Re: Spouse with early stage ALZ resists Bredesen diet what do I do?

Post by circular »

ellisto wrote:My brother has early stage ALZ, I gave his wife the Bredesen book and she flatly refuses to help institute the diet. In fact she shovels sugar and white flour down him. What if anything can I do?

Any and all suggestions are welcome. I also have a friend whose wife has ALZ and she refuses to change her diet, any suggestions on that are welcome too.

Thanks
Can your brother still decide for himself what he wants to eat? There may be an online food service that could deliver appropriate food choices if he can't shop and prepare his own meals anymore. Do you live nearby?

This issue can be very difficult. Ultimately I think it boils down to accepting the approach taken by whoever has legal decision making authority over his welfare at this point.

If it's still him, and he wants to make changes, and he can afford it, and his wife won't cooperate, then someone else may have to help him?

If it is still him, and he doesn't want to make changes after being introduced to the concepts, case closed. Just let him know you are there to help him in any way you can, whether or not he changes his mind.

If it is now, or later, his wife through a POA, and he no longer agrees with how she might handle his health issues in the context of Alzheimer's, he may want to change his POA and give that authority to someone else. Or he may choose not to rock the boat and take what comes.

If he wants to follow Bredesen, it's still hard if she won't prepare better meals for him and he can't do so for himself. Then something has to change to ensure he gets what he needs and can afford.

I'm sorry you are dealing with this! :cry:
ApoE 3/4 > Thanks in advance for any responses made to my posts.
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Re: Spouse with early stage ALZ resists Bredesen diet what do I do?

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ellisto wrote:My brother has early stage ALZ, I gave his wife the Bredesen book and she flatly refuses to help institute the diet. In fact she shovels sugar and white flour down him. What if anything can I do?
I share your distress, having been in the same situation as you. My sister-in-law was not interested in any of the Bredesen interventions. The only option for me was acceptance.
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ellisto
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Re: Spouse with early stage ALZ resists Bredesen diet what do I do?

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Thanks for the responses, I still can not believe that my brothers wife is so stupid. She does not see whats coming. The change would help her as much as my brother. So acceptance is all that is left.

Ellisto
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Re: Spouse with early stage ALZ resists Bredesen diet what do I do?

Post by NF52 »

ellisto wrote:Thanks for the responses, I still can not believe that my brothers wife is so stupid. She does not see whats coming. The change would help her as much as my brother. So acceptance is all that is left.
Ellisto
Hi Ellisto,

In the spirit of hoping for a way to frame your sister-in-law's decision that won't lead to angry words on both sides at Thanksgiving, here's some thoughts from someone who is at high risk of Alzheimer's myself, as a 67 year old with ApoE 4/4:

I have worked with dozens of parents who lived through the shock of a child's traumatic brain injury (TBI). Their voices, and those of researchers, say that "medical trauma" (including diagnoses of life-threatening illness) triggers initial shock, fear and often a sense of hopelessness. Often that changes to a hope that the news isn't as bad as it seems, with the goal of "getting through this" and "getting back to normal".

It is only very gradually (weeks to months, and in some cases years) that families with brain injuries (either TBI or dementia) re-align the family roles and beliefs, adjust responsibilities, make accommodations that fit their cultural, personal and ethical beliefs and decide what efforts are right for them. These families can't grieve the way someone can grieve a spouse who died of cancer or a heart attack; they have what is called "mobile mourning": a rollercoaster of mourning the person they "lost", while trying to help the person who has often-changing needs.

Your sister-in-law may be trying to figure out who will do all the tasks that her husband did for years, how she will manage on her own financially if he was working, and how she will deal with the changes in his personality, which are often evident early on. She may be feeling guilty that she can no longer see their friends as often or take the trip they had planned for years. She may be sleep-deprived because he wanders during the night. She may be wondering how much help she will need from her adult children, and how to keep him happy when he accuses her of moving his items (yes, that also is a common early-stage belief.) All of those things also happen when spouses have a TBI, and I have talked with spouses who say it takes years to adjust to the loss of everything they thought was secure in their marriage.

Those outside the family may admire the spouse who immediately learns everything they can and tries anything that seems reasonable; and may be angry or puzzled at others who hold onto hope and familiar patterns like a life raft. These responses are BOTH perfectly normal. Dr. Bredesen's protocol is not 100% guarantee of success any more than surgery, chemo or radiation are 100% guarantee of success in cancer. Each cancer patient has the right to decide how much or how little treatment is right; each person with dementia (or their care partner and health care proxy) has the same right.

Please try to find it in your heart to offer your sister-in-law your sympathy, your support and ask her and your brother: "What can I do that will make your life easier right now?" That is the only question I hope my siblings, my husband's siblings, their spouses and my children ask my husband and me if I am diagnosed with Alzheimer's.
4/4 and still an optimist!
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Re: Spouse with early stage ALZ resists Bredesen diet what do I do?

Post by zc_hl »

ellisto wrote:My brother has early stage ALZ, I gave his wife the Bredesen book and she flatly refuses to help institute the diet. In fact she shovels sugar and white flour down him. What if anything can I do?

Any and all suggestions are welcome. I also have a friend whose wife has ALZ and she refuses to change her diet, any suggestions on that are welcome too.

Thanks
I believe the main issue with white flour and sugar is that it can be vitamin depleted. You may try to provide your brother with high dose vitamin B1 (preferentially a liposoluble form) and a multivitamin. It can help with glucose metabolism and I think Allithiamine is able to cross the blood brain barrier.

Another problem can be processed polyunsaturated fats but if her wife is not willing to change his diet...
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Re: Spouse with early stage ALZ resists Bredesen diet what do I do?

Post by broiler_x »

Trying to change someone is near impossible - especially when they are a relative. For some reason we trust stranger's advice much more than someone who loves and cares for us. I've dealt with this personally with a brother-in-law who decided to treat his cancer solely through naturopathic methods and shunned modern medicine even though he had a fairly treatable cancer. I urged him to get the treatment, but he didn't trust pharmaceuticals. He died 2 years later at age 56.

Anyway, if change of diet is not an option then try and work on the other lifestyle changes that can be beneficial. Exercise, good sleep, cognitive engagement, being socially active, supplements etc. Maybe he'd be open to intermittent fasting? You can only do what you can do. And if they still won't listen, then you shouldn't beat yourself up. You tried your best.
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Re: Spouse with early stage ALZ resists Bredesen diet what do I do?

Post by ellisto »

Thanks to all who replied. I can rest a little easier knowing I did try my best.
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