martiS wrote:My wife is still doing well. But if she gets worse, I worry what her illness will do to my life, especially financially. I'm feeling very selfish and guilty.
Thank you for taking the time out of what sounds like a challenging schedule to post on our forum. Holidays can be a time of joy, but they can also be stressful, especially when our day-to-day needs don't match with our memories or expectations. If you are comfortable sharing your wife's diagnosis, and your concerns, we may be able to offer some suggestions. If I am correct in assuming that her "illness" is Alzheimer's, then I would gently suggest using the wonderful resources of care partner support available through the Alzheimer's Association. Meeting with, or talking on the phone with someone who has faced the same emotional and financial worries can be the difference between finding a way to manage worry and being overwhelmed by it.
The 24-hour helpline for the Alzheimer's Association is 800.272.3900
and here's a link to their resources for financial and legal planning
. We are not affiliated with them at all, by the way.
Please understand that you are not selfish for worrying about how your own life will change. My husband and I both have seen the different needs that developed over time with our mothers' dementia diagnoses. Being able to talk about that as we consider our own future, and recognizing that our loved ones may need to take decisions that safeguard their own future and health, is something that we never need to justify.
I hope you find some peace and share your worries with us, or with someone close to you and your wife (a doctor, a family friend) as well as with someone who can give you good information for your situation.